Planning the remaing days of his life
I know that this sounds harsh to some. But to us, this is the only option.
We owe that to Manuel.
Becoming old having different kinds of issues is not, and will never be a reason for us to let a family member go.
However, when the downs become longer, and deeper it is time to think about what “quality of life” is. Also, when living with such a wonderful and intelligent breed as the Akita – he/she will actually tell you when it is time – if you dare to see that and listen to that.
For us, we see it in his eyes. We have also asked for second opinions. Sometimes it is easy to become biased – you see what you want to see. Especially if you see him every day. We asked some close friends and relatives that also knew Manuel well what they saw…and they confirmed our thoughts. It was soon time…
Making the actual call
I have found a vet. that comes to your home. I do not want that Manuel’s last experience with us would be filled with fear and stress – I do not want to bring him to the animal hospital after all the things we put him through there during 2016.
We have spent the holidays knowing we soon will make “the call”. Today I actually made it…
The vet. told us she do not travel to Malmö where we live (too far). However she accepted going to the “summer house”. This is the place Manuel loves so we thought that would be the best place.
I have also contacted a company that performs cremation close to the summer house. Our initial thought was to bring Manuel directly to Malmö and have him cremated there – but the cremation is closed that day, so I had to look for one close to the “summer house”. I know, this sounds “terrible” but even more terrible had been if we did not plan that and found out that day – that no cremation was open.
All focus on Manuel now
Now we just want to spoil him as much as we can.
Take him to his favourite woods even for super short walks, just so he can experience his favourite spots and also snow (which he loves). I let him decide the pace, and he is all off-leash.
We give him his favourite food (not giving a shit about kidney values). When he smells something great from the stove he does what he always does. He lies down outside the kitchen, completely silent with a clear signal that he demands something.
He sleeps a lot but also has his up’s and tries to make short zoomies.
He know he feels more fragile and therefore he wants to be closer to us and has just started to lay under our desks in the office when we are working.
How do I feel? I do not know
I try not to focus on me, but I guess I just feel so – “empty”…
Honestly, I do not remember that much at all from the days after I made the appointment. It is just blurred in my mind. What I DO remember is that terrible feeling of every “this is the last time we…”.
This content is written post mortem but the date is set as correct in to relation when it really happened. I think it is very important to share this experience and knowledge but I have not had the energy to do so, until now (2021).